writing

Censoring Myself

by Nursetopia on May 29, 2013

Nursing is not always holding a patient’s hand at the bedside or listening to a family member grieve or welcoming uncomplicated, new life or being a knowledgeable and present professional in times of crisis. No, there are some not-so-inspirational nursing and healthcare moments rarely discussed in print.

Writing is vulnerability in print. It’s realization. Even as I work to be honest and open, you only see and read portions that I allow you access.

At the moment, I’m broken-spirited. I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I’m shocked. I’m disappointed. I’m a whole range of emotions I don’t think are necessary.

I’m experiencing one of those paradigm-shifting circumstances. I can only think of one other time in my career in which I’ve felt like this, realizing my views (about many healthcare issues) are, indeed, morphing.

There are really so many things I could write about at this moment, but I’m not going to do so. At least not for an audience.

My self-induced censorship is purposeful but transparent. As much as censorship can be.

Are there any other writers that live this conundrum?

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Mary J. MacLeod, S.R.N., author of Call the Nursereceived her nursing training in the post-war United Kingdom. I have never had a guest post within the nearly three years of Nursetopia for several reasons. However, after reading Call the Nurse (which you should absolutey read!), I wanted to personally learn more from MacLeod; I wanted to hear her voice on nursing and her historical perspective of nursing. Below is what she shared. Enjoy!

My training began in 1949/50 and would be unrecognisable to the nurse of the 21st century. I imagine things will have changed similarly in those 60 years in the USA, but you will all know more about that than I do. (When I was in school, some of our examination questions began ‘compare and contrast….etc.’ Well, I think there is going to be more contrast than comparison in this little piece.)

Most young women, aspiring to take up nursing, attend college, obtain degrees or other qualifications and appear on the wards apparently fully fledged and very knowledgeable. And there is much to know! Ever increasing numbers of new drugs, advanced and inexorably advancing technology for diagnosis and treatment, the ability to take blood, give transfusions, tailor diets to conditions, iterpret X-rays, scans and so on. In many cases, there seems to be an overlap into the doctor’s world. One could say, rather cynically that nurses are paid less than doctors so why not have them do some of their tasks?         

MacLeod_WordsAnd among all this ‘clever stuff,’ where is the actual care of the patient, I wonder. Washing him, feeding him, making sure that he has water to drink, a clean and comfortable bed, any wounds dressed, drugs administered at the right time and properly checked, reassurances given, his record and plan for his ongoing care kept up-to-date so that nothing is ‘overlooked’ – the modern word for ‘forgotten.’

What am I really talking about here? Compassion, respect, discipline, and accountability, as well as knowledge. All the ‘clever stuff’ as I have called it, will not help a patient if he is dirty, thirsty, unfed, given the wrong drug, misnamed on his record, or ‘overlooked.’

Back to 1950. Our training was much less technical because, for instance, there were fewer drugs – penicillin and streptomycin were the only antibiotics available, less intricate surgery was done – heart surgery was in its infancy, brain surgery yet to come, and many cancers were considered inoperable. We had to rely on good nursing care to cure or alleviate many conditions so our training was tailored to that end.

We began training straight from school at 18. We were not the sophisticated young women of today with their own flats, their confidence and self-esteem, their concept of ‘rights’ – some even married. We came straight from home and found ourselves plunged immediately onto the wards. We were housed in a Nurses’ Hostel in tiny, unheated bedrooms and had to be in by 11 PM. We often worked 50 to 60 hours in a week, but we didn’t notice. (In fact, I have only just worked it out!) We were paid 5£ [~$7.68 current US] per month and no overtime. We expected nothing more.

Our uniform was supplied – starched dresses (how they rubbed), aprons, and caps. Hair had to be ‘off the collar,’ no jewelry, very short nails, regulation rubber-soled shoes. It was like boarding school – but with patients! We were roused at 5:30 AM by the housekeeper’s booming voice, ready to start at 6:30 AM. Late comers were sent straight to Matron! Our working day would include making beds, ‘doing backs’ to prevent bedsores, washing, feeding, injections, temperatures, B.P.s, prepping for ‘ops,’ dressing wounds, etc., but learning all the time. We had 30 or 40 beds in one huge room with beds down each side. No ‘disposables’ then like syringes, surgical receptacles, bedpans, etc. All these things were reusable and so had to be sterilized constantly. Cleanliness was paramount and there were fewer hospital-born infections then than now!

Every year, we had two months of college classes where we soaked up the more technical stuff, took, and hopefully passed, examinations. Most of all on the wards and in college, we learned compassion (if we did not already feel it), respect, discipline, and accountability. We did not talk of career opportunities or personal advancement. The nurse was there to NURSE with no thought for herself. Perhaps such attitudes were extreme, but, as always, the pendulum has swung the other way now, and it seems to be all about the nurse: her conditions of work, her pay, etc. But I hope most aspiring young women still feel a genuine urge to care for the young, the sick, and the old. (I won’t say ‘a calling’ as this implies a religious motivation – just a humane concern is all that is needed.)

My down-to-earth training stood me in good stead in the 70s when I was a district nurse on a remote Scottish island. Conversely, a more technical training is needed for the forefront of medicine, surgery and other specialised areas of care. I think we can combine both because that is the word – CARE.

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Finding Rest by Working On

by Nursetopia on February 19, 2013

A long day leads to a quiet evening.

Writing is sanctuary.

A blank screen. A soft whirring from the computer. 

A foggy block. 

A barrier to safe solitude. 

Fingers next to keys. Hovering. And then the familiar clicking rhythm. 

No clear reason.

The mind quiets and finds rest. 

Clarity. 

I read and write to help calm my mind each evening. When I have writer’s block, I push through it because I know the result is worth it. After a busy day on the unit, in the clinic, or wherever you provide care, how do you quiet your brain and find rest?

 

 

 

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Never A Shortage on Good Reading Material

by Nursetopia on January 13, 2013

I liken the blogosphere to a “blob.” A lot of people are afraid to start reading blogs because they think it will overtake them – they have issues with unread posts. Honestly, I did, too, at first; then I realized I control the flow of blogs just like I do with all social media, reading, and pretty much every other media outlet.

It’s not uncommon for my RSS reader to have hundreds of posts waiting for me to read. I can’t help it; I love a lot of blogs. I may let posts “pile” up, but it sure does make for some goooood reading time. So, as I wait for all my batch cooking to finish up for the night and my house is filled with the delectable aromas of simmering taco soup, cooling oatmeal muffins, and bubbling homemade apple butter (oh, yes, I did!) – here’s what I’m perusing:

Kim, at Emergiblog, is heading back to her roots and finding her voice while simultaneously cursing the thorn in her side at the moment – a step into electronic charting – and waxing nostalgic for paper charting. Boy, haven’t we all been there? Oh, if not…you will be, don’t worry.

Hugh McLeod, at gapingvoid, has a new cartoon that makes me smile. It’s so true…we need more love in business…including the business of healthcare! It’s why I wrote about love in management recently. *Sings “All You Need is Love…”*

The Nerdy Nurse has a pretty cool giveaway going on right now, you should definitely head over there and enter. You have a few more hours to get in on the goods.

Impacted Nurse is discussing verbal abuse as a result of a recently published Journal of Advanced Nursing article. The title will surely get your attention.

East Coast Creative has a super cute DIY idea. I can absolutely see this in my home, and I’m honestly considering it for my entire team…who says Valentine’s Day at work can’t be fu-uhn?! Not this manager.

Austin Kleon reminds people of the hazard of hanging out with writers. Truth.

So much good stuff to read and look at…ahhh…makes for a lovely time anytime. What are you reading? Viewing? Listening to? I’m always up for suggestions.

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Limiting in Moderation

by Nursetopia on January 2, 2013

Each New Year seems to have an abundance of limitations – on food, on choice words, on habits. For me, even though it is not a “resolution,” I do try to limit certain parts of my life at the beginning of each year. The losing helps me regain control and sets a certain tone and pace for the rest of the year.

Social media is one of those “things” I tend to limit at the start of each year. This year is no different; I am limiting my social media involvement. However, I’ve decided to limit my moderation, even, and the reason – to me – is simple: relationships.

I’ve formed too many wonderful relationships to just plainly walk away and leave unattended for a month or longer. While I won’t spend each free moment scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, The ONC, and more, I will spend my select free time conversing with the people I enjoy, cultivating the relationships I want to see develop.

I thought long and hard about this “limiting in moderation,” and the people that kept coming back to my mind were Julianna Paradisi, Keith Carlson, Gypsy Nurse, and Kevin Ross. You see, these colleagues, separated by thousands of miles and nursing specialties, helped share a post I was passionate about with their circles of influence. (You can still act on that post’s action.) They certainly did not have to, but they chose to, and they’re the ones I know about; there certainly may be other colleagues who shared the message with others.

It’s these kind of relationships that matter to me. Seemingly strangers but connected with growing, invisible ties. If you don’t know any of those folks, you certainly need to check them out on their personal sites and blogs, Twitter, and Facebook. They have valuable information, and you never know – they just might become a connection you never thought you’d have.

So, while limiting myself is good…everything is better in moderation – even limits.

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Break and Rest

by Nursetopia on November 26, 2012

Six days since my last post. I enjoyed the time away from the computer and most other electronics. I stayed in my home for five straight days, and I loved every moment. I hosted both family Thanksgiving dinners for the first time. My house held 22 people at one point, and I reveled in the closeness of healthy family, the smells of family recipes, the sounds of boisterous laughter and children playing. After everyone left to head back to their respective cities and homes, I semi-straightened my house which remained incredibly clean, ate on left-overs for a few days, and decorated for Christmas. I was overwhelmed with gratitude, and I am rejuvenated and ready for the next days and weeks.

I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving, as well. And, although I do not say it enough to you – thank you for reading Nursetopia and engaging in conversations. Writing is wonderful, but the relationships and growth writing has brought me are even better. I hope you are rejuvenated, as well, and if not, I hope you find breaks and rest very, very soon.

Have a lovely week, Friends!

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Steal Like an Artist [Book Review]

by Nursetopia on November 14, 2012

I stole borrowed this book from a co-worker. I love it so much, though, that I’m purchasing my own copy. (Yeah, you heard me, Austin Kleon; I’m buying you a cup o’ joe. Who knows…maybe we’ve sat next to one another in an East Austin eatery and never even knew it. That weirds me out a bit, but I’m guessing we’ve never actually eaten/worked side-by-side otherwise I would’ve broken the invisible ice by saying something like, “I prefer neon index cards over white ones. Here…try ‘em.”)

Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative, by Austin Kleon, is a delightful jewel of a read. I gobbled it up in about 30 minutes, but I’m purchasing the book to read again. And again. I won’t quote the entire work. No, you need to visit your local bookstore or library and get the book for yourself. Yes, it really does have that much goodness within it. And, it’s not all text. Hooray!

Much of Kleod’s advice is already part of my life and routine. I gleaned some new tips, though, which I am excited to implement. And, I had to literally put the book down a few times to pause and think about some things he says about creativity and work and the mashup of life. I’m sure I’ll still be thinking about them over the next few days, as well. You’ll definitely see the influence of Steal Like an Artist on Nursetopia, and I’m already working on the suggested reading Kleod provides near the end.

Whether you consider yourself a “creative” or not, I promise this book is worth your time.

 

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Bossypants [Audio Book Review]

by Nursetopia on November 7, 2012

That’s right…I am following the day after the U.S. Presidential election with a review of Tina Fey’s Bossypants. (I’m sure Tina Fey could insert a hysterically appropriate love-of-country joke here. I drafted a few of my own renditions, but, alas, I realized I am not destined to be a writer on SNL.)

I can only refer to her as “Tina Fey.” I thought about calling her “Tina” or “Ms. Fey” throughout the post, but “Tina Fey” is much more appropriate. It’s reminiscent of the way she always calls her dad “Don Fey” throughout the early portions of the book. Endearing, no? And yet also a little like a boss…oh, wait…I see a connection here. Well played, Tina Fey. Well played.

To the short of it - Bossypants is delightful. Be warned: there’s some language, a few “rough” jokes, a strong feminist (redundant much?) perspective, and you just might be a traffic hazard if you’re listening during your commute. I definitely felt that way as I found myself deep in thrown-back-head, belly-hurting, tear-wiping laughs. I’m pretty sure I snorted a few times.

Throughout the four audio discs Tina Fey discusses elements of her childhood, her growth as a writer and actor, working at SNL and creating 30 Rock, impersonating Sarah Palin, fashion, and “what to expect on a photo shoot” because – as Tina Fey wisely points out – both she and Snooki have experienced it, so there’s no telling – it just might come in handy one day. I took the information to heart, for sure.

A fan of audio books, I love it when authors read their own work. I appreciate vocal actors/professionals reading books, but it doesn’t feel genuine. It’s the author who knows the appropriate inflections and pauses, giving a true “voice” to the book. Bossypants is an excellent example of this. I love the way Tina Fey reads the parenthetical comments and asides within her book – under her breath. And she references the audio book as an audio book. This may seem like a trivial detail to some. It is not. Audio books are a different media than text books, so as many narrators may say, “This book is a life-long dream,” Tina Fey says, “This audio book…” It’s a big deal because it shows the author has thought about this detail. The audio book also includes a CD full of photos and clips, and Tina Fey mentions the “PDF” no less than seven times throughout the book, which made me look at it. Honestly, I would have otherwise skipped over it, but she was right – it’s totally mind-blowing.

Oh, Tina Fey, you make me laugh. That’s just what this nurse needed driving to and away from work. Thank you.

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Reflective Writing

by Nursetopia on September 17, 2012

It’s no surprise that I blog as a form of reflection, introspection, conversation, education, and creative hobby. I have always found writing as a tool to help me safely vent and explore my emotions. Both in the past and even now I often recommend writing or journaling to those I work alongside. It’s helpful in so many ways.

I write via this blog and other blogs but this is a very public space, thus it is not a safe place to vent my daily frustrations and deeply private experiences and feelings. No. So I write privately, as well.

When I write for my eyes only, I don’t worry about continuity of thought or whether my subjects and verbs agree (okay that’s a lie – I totally do think about that), or sentence structure. I often write exactly how I think – in fragments, which I strangely love. I rarely create new paragraphs. I doodle in the margins if I’m handwriting. I fill pages without caution.

It’s wonderful therapy. Give it a try. No rules. Just reflective writing.

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Crazy-Fun Self-Care

by Nursetopia on August 9, 2012

It’s hard to believe 2012 is almost three-fourths of the way over. Say whaaaaaat? 

I’ve kept a running list of self-care techniques at the Oncology Nursing Society’s Re:Connect blog. It’s been quite fun. This post particularly made me smile. It makes me feel so good. You really should give it a try.

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